How to use a vibrator on a man

“I’ve heard that men like vibrators used on them. But how and where and how do I suggest it?”

It’s a question I’m asked often, so here’s the lowdown.

If you’re going to use it on him, let him use it on you first.

Wait until you’re both aroused and having some hot and heavy foreplay, then say ‘Hey, do you want to use my vibrator?’ and deftly reach into your bedside drawer and fish it out.

Now, listen up because this bit’s crucial if you think he might be prickly about the whole thing: What he claps his eyes on shouldn’t be a rabbit or anything styled to look like a ‘real’ penis. A small slim vibrator – the simple sort, long and cylindrical – is least threatening for the first time.

Don’t be surprised if you get a lukewarm response – even in today’s world where most women own up to three vibrators, some men are still secretly terrified they’ll be replaced by something which is far more efficient at inducing female orgasm (and they’d be right, it is). This is why it’s important you get him to use it on you (first time), rather than expertly show him how you can orgasm in around a minute, crushing all vestige of sexual pride in around the same time, since it takes him 15 on a good day.

Once he’s played around, it’s fairly easy to cheerfully say ‘Your turn!’, grab it from him and quickly hone in on…..his shoulders. Use it to soothe tense muscles and knots and the vibrator will be seen as His Friend, rather than Public Enemy No 1.

A little playful buzzing on the buttocks later and he’ll soon be happy for you to try it on the perineum (the area between his anus and testicles). Put it on a low speed and press it firmly against the full length of this area, while you use your hand or mouth to simultaneously stimulate his penis.

You could also try it (low speed) on his anus: rub it in small circles around the outside but don’t penetrate without lubrication (it needs to have a flared base if you want to use it anally) and always wash it before putting it anywhere near your vagina afterward.

Another place to try: his testicles. Hold it underneath them and see what reaction you get. Some men adore this, others would prefer you ripped each fingernail off, one by one. Some men also like it rolled up and down the shaft of their penis but, in my experience, this is the least favourite spot.

If all this goes down a treat, you might want to branch out and buy a vibrator specifically for men. I do one in my range that gets great reviews (the Supersex male vibrator). If he’s into anal play, I’d highly recommend you also consider some type of prostate vibrator. My Edge Prostate Massager is designed specifically for P-spot massage (the male G-spot). It’s easy to use and there’s a step-by-step guide to guide you through. Another bonus: increased blood flow to the penis can make him harder.